


Night Jitters

by thisbluespirit



Category: When the Boat Comes In (TV)
Genre: Community: genprompt_bingo, Community: hc_bingo, Ficlet, Gen, Missing Scene, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 04:38:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13697031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbluespirit/pseuds/thisbluespirit
Summary: Jack Ford’s not one for nerves, at least not in the usual way, but times have changed.





	Night Jitters

**Author's Note:**

> Written for genprompt_bingo square "Rich and poor" and Hurt/Comfort Bingo square "disappearing."

Jack Ford’s not one for nerves, at least not in the usual way, but times have changed. (Haven’t they just?) Even if he’s regained his footing, even if he’s not shaking with the need for a drink, he’s not the man he was.

No risk, no gain, and he’s been happy to live like that, never mind where it got him. If you win, it’s worth it, and Jack makes a habit of winning. Maybe that’s why losing’s got him standing outside a nice semi-detached house in Gosforth, too afraid to go try the door. He went away rich and was supposed to come back filthy rich, but he’s crawled back in ruin and rags. And, yes, Sarah Headley’s picked him up, and, yes, he’s got a scheme on the go, but still, there are some things of too great a value for a man to risk losing – or finding out he’s already lost.

Jack pictures ringing that doorbell and she’ll be there, looking less worn than when he went away, now her fortune’s made, but maybe the love-light’ll have gone out of her eyes. Maybe she’ll ask what the cat’s dragged in and mean it. Time’s moved on. Maybe there’s no place for him here now. The Seatons have made it good, the way he planned it, and he’s always trouble, it’s true.

He walks back to the path, whistling. (It’s not cowardice, it’s only common sense; sometimes you can’t go home again, even if it’s the only place that’s ever been home). Maybe another day, when he’s got a better handle on the situation, when he’s rich again and can look her in the eye. (He can’t look her in the eye: he left, didn’t he? _You belong here_ , she’d said.)

And then there’s the other thing: he wants to picture her here, happy and looked after. What if it’s not like that? _Oh, the Seatons, they moved over to Gosforth way_ , somebody’d told him. Perhaps in Gallowshield they wouldn’t hear bad news. Perhaps she’s far too much frailer than before; perhaps she wouldn’t even remember him, or maybe he’s too late altogether.

That he’d rather not know. 

Back in Gallowshield, in the lanes where they used to live, he plays the reunion in his head, as it never was: 

_“Jack Ford, as I live and breathe! Took your time, didn’t you?” she says, and nothing more is needed; they understand each other, the way they always have._

_He kisses her cheek, and slips an arm round her, giving her a tight squeeze, feeling the bones of her – there’s less each time, but that he never tells her that and won’t start now. “Too long, bonny lass, too long.”_

_“Get away with you. Thought we’d seen the last of you.” Her smile, though, says she knew he’d be back, just like she’d said. She always does know._

But that _had_ been goodbye, that’s the thing – best to leave it as it is, but whether he’s richer or poorer this way; that, he doesn’t know. He’ll put his mind to building up the fortunes of folks in need instead – like him and Sarah Headley, for instance.

“Bless you, bonny lass,” he says to the night, and laughs aloud at himself. There’s always another day, anyway, isn’t there? He’ll be braver next time. Richer, too, if he has his way.

Tonight, though, under a clouded sky, he’s not so sure: it had been goodbye, that last time, he thinks – goodbye and not farewell.


End file.
